Come back early or never come

In every way that counted, I was dead. Inside somewhere maybe I was screaming and weeping and howling like an animal, but that was another person deep inside me, another person who had no access to the face and lips and mouth and head, so on the surface I just passed away, just let it all go, like that, without doing anything, stepped out of life as easily as walking through a door, I would have done. But i was going to sleep at night and walking in the morning, dissapointed to be there resigned to existence.

Sometimes I telephoned her, I let the phone ring onces, maybe even twice, before i hung up.